Leave The Memories Alone
by StandingOnTheRooftops
Summary: 1x4. Heero reflects on Quatre's death and the subsequent death of peace. A very sad fic... you've been warned.


**Leave the Memories Alone,**

**1x4. Heero's reflections on Quatre's death and the subsequent death of peace. Songfic. And the song is 'Leve The Memories Alone' by Fuel. This is a sad fic... you've been warned.**

The graveyard is lonely, depressing. Flowers long ago withered past their prime, grass not quite kept up. Marble and stone falling into ruin. As the clouds cover the sky, casting the world in a gloomy shadow, one man stands alone , looking down at a single headstone. Even as raindrops form, and start to fall, he stays standing, staring at the name carved in stone.

**Quatre Raberba Winner**

**December 12th, AC180- August 27th, AC 201**

**'We must fight to protect our loved one's from sorrow.'**

_So here I am with my thoughts of you  
And this world I've left for me  
Stoic faces when I think of you  
And how I once believed  
So now you call me, but you know I won't let you through  
I've myself to decieve_

It's been four years, he thought, his Prussian blue eyes never leaving the stone. Four long years since you died. Since peace fell through. I don't like to think about this. I've always let emotion guide me... but I've never felt like this. This tearing pain, aching emptiness. I'd like to pretend that it never happened. Any of it. No war, no Gundams, no Libra, none of it. I know, I know. If you were standing here now, you tell me not to greive. You'd tell me to move on. You'd tell me you've finally found the peace you've been searching for, fighting for.

But Quatre, I love you. And it's so hard to let go.

_So leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be  
Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll hold you here in my memory_

This life is so empty. So painful, he thought. Without you, there's little left for me in this world. I wish I could be like Trowa, and just forget everything. Forget you, forget the war, forget the pain. But no. I want to keep my memories of you. Of you smiling, of you happy. Those memories from the few short years we had, thos few short years of peace and happiness. After the tradgedy of war- before the tradgedy of death.

You were so young, why'd you have to die? Of all that's happened, that is the most unfair of all. You had so much left to give the world... but we'll never know what.

_So I find me in your garden now  
A sad smile for the scene  
And all the flowers that we planted now  
Taken by the weeds  
But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me  
They stand tall there, in that summer breeze_

Days after you died, the peace died. With you died hope. Everything you worked so hard for, sacrificed everything for. Gone. Just like you.

But I am determined to bring hope back to life. I can't save you, I can't bring you back... but I can do what you would want me too. I can save others, I can bring back the peace, bring back hope for the future. Releena is working, harder than ever before, and the Preventers are in full swing, backing her up in every campaign. Slowly, life is returning to... normal? That's a funny thought. What is normal? Is a fifteen year old boy leading the life of a soldier normal? Is a twenty-one year old girl leading the world's most powerful nation normal? Is the best covert ops agent available being an ex-boy soldier normal? Is someone like me falling in love with someone like you normal?

_Leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be  
Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll just hold you here in my memory_

A single tear slides down his face. People sometimes doubted that the perfect soldier had a heart... but he did. And it was broken, shattered in a million pieces in the time it took a single bullet to take a single life.

_In my memory, yeah_

I'll not shed anymore tears, Quatre. I know you wouldn't want that. But I will keep my memories. I'll hold them close to my shattered heart, and late at night, when sleep eludes me yet again... I'll remember how it once was. I'll remember how you taught me to live. I'll remember the way you loved me, honesty sparkling in your teal-blue eyes every time you looked at me. And I'll remember the way you saved me from myself.

I love the things you left me... but I'd give up everything just to see you one more time. I'd willingly give up all these lovely gifts if just to hear your voice... if just for one more day with you.

But I can't bring you back. It's useless trying, thinking. So I'll remember you the way you were. Bright, vibrant, loving, strong. I'll remember the way you were, and I'll pray that my memories will never change.

_So leave the memories alone  
I don't want to see  
The way it is, as to how it used to be  
Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing  
And I'll hold you in my memory_

"Hey, Heero!" He looks back at the voice. A young man with violet eyes stares worridly at him from beneath a large black unbrella. "Heero, it's raining. And we'll be late. Peace won't make itself, you know! Let's go!"

He casts one last glance at the tombstone before turning away. 'Don't ever change,' he whispers to the enclosing darkness before joining his friend.

_You'll never change  
You'll never change  
You'll never change  
You will never change_


End file.
